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Today is the fifth anniversary of our Irish baby, Francis Maximilian.

We went to Ireland for our honeymoon. It probably stands as the most relaxing time J and I have ever spent together. After the chaos of planning our wedding, introducing our families and actually reaching the point of walking down the aisle, we were pretty worn out. Arriving in Galway as husband and wife, with all of that behind us was marvellous. And with no more planning, airport runs, instructions… the only decisions we had to make were about what to eat and where to go exploring.

We spent two weeks exploring the west coast. And conceived our first child.

I remember being excited and surprised and a little apprehensive at the enormity of the life changes happening all at once. To go from me to wife to mother in a week was a whirlwind. And I loved it. J and I shared our hopes, fears and worries and decided we were elated at this new gift of life. And then, only a few days later, we had to say goodbye.

J was amazing. He checked us into a little hotel, ran me a bath, and sat and cried with me. Later we found a little church yard and laid our baby Francis to rest. We faced losing this child together, as we had together welcomed him.

Today I remember Francis. And Robert Benedict, Stephen and Margaret. This is the first time I’ve been able to acknowledge them publicly. My four babies whom I wasn’t able to hold. I love each of them, and very much look forward to meeting them all someday.

Please pray for us, little ones.