Sunday was mother’s day here and I had been instructed to stay in bed and be surprised when my family brought in the surprises they’d been [loudly] whispering about the day before. Bella had been on a secret shopping mission with dad and was all set. Then we had a late, interrupted night, and my amazing husband got up with Joy at 2am and didn’t make it back to bed until, well, morning.
So instead of sleeping in and being waited on, I got to get up at 5am and be a mom.
Hours later as we were trying to get everyone ready and out the door to church on time I wondered if I would make it. Wet hair, misplaced shoe, no card to take to Grandma’s afterwards. I had one of those wobbly moments when I felt like crawling back into bed and just staying there. My husband suggested that he take the girls and I could enjoy some quiet and then go myself in the evening and actually be present. I stopped and considered, dreamed? And then I reached down deep and pulled up some willpower and got everyone into the van.
We had a nice day. Stopped and printed some photos of the girls to take to my mom, and met cousins at the park. By day’s end we were all tired and sticky, and relieved to get everyone to bed.
Yesterday morning my husband got up with the girls, closed the door and let me sleep until seven. Then two little heads bobbed in with a flowery picture, a box of smarties to share and dad following with a cup of tea.
My husband asked me to read this post by Zack Arias, a photographer whom we respect both as a professional and as a person. He said Zack expresses a lot of what he would like to say to me. I love what he’s written because it also addresses what I feel as a mother sometimes. There are things that I would love to do, which I believe I am capable of and could do well if given the opportunity. But they come second to being a wife and mother. Don’t misunderstand – I love my family. Being home with my children and helping them grow is what I choose to do because they are more important that any dream or career or anything else I’d like to pursue. And I don’t feel hard done by. Sometimes it’s nice to see that in print though. To see that someone understands that it is still a sacrifice – which is a good definition of love.
Thanks Zack & Meg!